There’s a really interesting article this week at Slate. [An Affair to Remember: She was 82. He was 95. They had dementia. They fell in love. And then they started having sex.]

The article recounts the story of Bob and Dorothy who met each other at an assisted living community. Just as the title says, they fell in love and started to have sexual relations. Bob’s son, who was appointed Bob’s guardian (either through a court guardianship procedure or health care proxy), decided to put a stop to the relationship after walking in on his father and his new girlfriend having sex at the assisted living center.

If you read through the article, an interesting concept of a Sexual Power of Attorney comes up. Dorothy’s daughter, who is an attorney, comments (maybe facetiously) that a Sexual Power of Attorney might allow the elderly to control their own sexual experiences when they reach a point of dementia. I’m not sure how this sort of power of attorney would work and how you would designate a person to oversee your sexual future. The concept however, is very interesting.

As I have said in previous posts, you should always designate someone to be your attorney-in-fact or proxy who you would trust your life with. You need to trust this person not only to keep you alive when you’re in a vegetative state or to pay your health care bills when you’re incapacitated, but you also need to know that this person’s values and beliefs are in line with your own. You need to be able to trust this person to make the same decisions you would make, or at least follow your intent and look out for your best interest. I’m not sure Bob’s son in the article was looking out for his father’s best interest. It seemed he was either trying to safe-guard his inheritance or to keep his father alive but lifeless to satisfy his own need to keep his father around. Sometimes immediate family members are not the best people to designate for such important roles.